Saturday, August 30, 2008

A Rose With Any Other Name...

I was talking to a co-worker the other day and she was telling me how she had to take her kids (two were hers, 3 were her step children) to the grocery store. As she was trying to herd them all into the store, a woman was coming out, and with her nose held high she commented "WELL! At least I knew when to quit!" Lisa was appalled, and I don't blame her. Some people are so inconsiderate and unthoughtful. That woman didn't even know Lisa's circumstances yet she couldn't resist making a snide comment.

Which reminded me of an incident with my youngest son when he was about three. We were standing in line somewhere, and in the line was a VERY large woman. I weighed about 170 at the time, and she outweighed me by at least double. My three year old saw her and tugged on my shirt. I looked down and in a normal voice he said, "Wow, Mama, that woman's FAT!"

Before I could even respond, the woman says "THAT was rude. I don't believe how some people raise their kids to be so hurtful." My son got scared at the vicousness in her voice and I went ballistic. I told her "He is ONLY THREE YEARS OLD. He sees the world as it is and isn't old enough to know about tact. He calls 'em as he sees 'em. You, on the other hand, are just mean and cruel and by the way...a rose called by any other name is still a rose!" I then turned to my son and said "When you're old enough, I will teach you about honesty and how sometimes the truth hurts people, so we need to be careful what we say out loud. But you did NOTHING wrong."

The other people in the line gave me an applause!

My point with all this is accept yourself as you are. And if you don't want people (much less 3 year olds) making comments, CHANGE it! I don't know that woman's circumstances, but all my son did was point out a fact. There were no assumptions or accusations. It is rediculous to think a three year old was being rude and trying to hurt her feelings.

What if he had pointed out someone else that was very fair skinned and he said "Wow, Mama, that person is REALLY white" or a really tanned person and said "Wow, Mama, that person is really dark"? I hardly think they would consider it rude or hurtful. Or better yet, what if he pointed to someone and said "Wow, Mama, that person is REALLY pretty!"

Like I said, he calls 'em as he sees 'em. And, well, a rose by any other name...