Friday, July 25, 2008

True Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

WOW, that statement is so true. I remember when being young (in my teens and twenties) that I woud find someone EXTREMELY attractive. If it was a guy, I was usually sexually attracted. If it was a girl, I was envious.

But the most shocking part was getting to know the person. Most of what I thought were "beautiful people" were asses...either self indulgent, self centered, narsassistic, or just plain mean. After I got to know them, I wondered how in the HECK did I EVER see them as a "beautiful" person?

Shows how shallow I was at that young age. But at least I learned (well, with MOST people!)

Now I try not to judge until I get to know the "beauty within" (or lack thereof.)

It's hard though. Do any of you find that? We are all so conditioned to "like" certain things and "dislike" others, it is really hard to find that beauty within, or ignore the absence of it.

And the worst part is KNOWING you are wrong, but not being able to change it. My "first love" I was extremely attracted to, and he was oh so beautiful (to me.) But he treated me like crap. But I would run into him just out of the blue, and still be with him, no matter how bad he treated me.

To this day I still have good dreams about him...and if I saw him today I would prolly do the same, even though I am happily married...that is so sad.

Ok, so I haven't been funny yet...prolly cuz I am relieving stress at this point. Soon I will have lots of funny stuff to say, I promise.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

No FAT CHICKS on board

Today during my commute home from work I looked over at the car next to me and on the dashboard was this HUGE sticker that said "No FAT CHICKS on board."

I was reminded of all the comedians that talk about "getting drunk and taking a fat chick home." What, you have to be DRUNK to consider having a one night stand, much LESS dating, an overweight person?

Then I flashed on all the commercials that show the beer bellied men with beautiful wives. Yeh, I bet that's typical...probably about as honest as the commercial itself.

Then I thought of how the average size in this country for a woman is 14. Two sizes smaller than me, granted, but all you ever see on TV is size 0 - 6 women. They're just not REAL. Those women pretty much starve themselves on a regular basis. If you went to pretty much any city in this country, you would see more women that look like me than looks like all the supermodels and actresses.

My thoughts then went to the movie "The Perfect Storm" and how Bugsy felt he couldn't get a gal so he went after the fat lady. And I was so proud of how they portrayed her. She was self confident, sure of herself, and wanted nothing to do with a guy that she thought was using her. The movie portrayed her as someone that really liked herself and her life. THREE THUMBS UP!

After my daydreaming and musings, I looked at the man that was driving the beat up car with the sticker that said "No FAT CHICKS on board." And I thanked God that I am so blessed to be overweight rather than snaggle toothed, ugly, having a poor complexion, non-hygienic, ignorant ass like the that guy.

And please, someone tell me, what on God's green earth makes people like him think he is special enough to place labels on people, much less make assumptions about people he has never met?

Dang Internet

Sorry I have been away. I rent my house and the wiring here is really old. Because of that, I keep losing my Internet. Should be fixed Saturday though.

Cheers!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Big May be Beautiful BUT...

I know most people see fat people as ugly, gross, whatever. They do NOT see the beauty of within. Isn't that what we are all supposed to focus on? Remember the term "Don't judge a book by it's cover"?

Well, in my musings and thoughts for today, I realized I am totally happy with my inner self. I am totally happy with my outer self. But I must admit that when I see myself in a mirror, I remember what I used to look like and I like that vision better. SHAME ON ME.

But honestly, most people think fat is ugly. Well, no wonder, with how the American media perpetuates slimness. OMG, they made Kate Moss a super model, and she was only skin and bones, and in my opinion looked extremely sick.

But, the point I am going to make here, is no matter what we think of ourselves, we all DO need to take society and the brainwashing it has received into consideration. We must NOT be totally self centered.

Today I flashed on something I saw a few years ago, and shame on me, but it grossed me out. My hubby and I were at the Boat Drag Races in Red Bluff, CA with our teenage sons. There was a woman there that was about 5'4" and had to have weighed 350 pounds easy. Ok, no biggie, there are a lot of us that are really overweight. My issue was the way she dressed.

She had short shorts on and a bikini top which barely covered her nipples. There were a gazillion rolls anywhere you looked. She had stretch marks EVERYWHERE. Her boobs were barely bigger than her back boobs. The short shorts were way too tight, and her legs showed extreme cellulite which looked like popcorn. I should have gotten a picture. She might as well been naked for all she covered up!

Ok, kudos to her for being self confident and loving herself enough to wear anything, but here is my objection...

I weigh about half that and I am taller than her. I would NEVER consider wearing a bikini top EVER, much less her entire outfit, ESPECIALLY in a crowd. I do have pride. I wear shorts, but not the kind that go up my butt crack and show my crotch. I have respect for other people. I know they don't want to see a spectacle. Love yourself, love your body, but don't subject the rest of us to it.

Oh, and by the way, I felt the same way about all the skinny girls wearing really short skirts and barely covering their ta-tas. They were mostly young, and wanted the attention, but that is as bad as the fat woman wearing what she did.

Why do young women (and some older women that are scared of being old) feel the need to have men ogle them? Why do women feel that they need a MAN to accept them for them to accept themselves? I just don't understand that...

My point is this...

HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR BODY. No matter what shape it is.

Friday, July 18, 2008

My Musings/Thoughts for Today

The fact that the media and the world at large perpetuates that being fat is dangerous, unhealthy and worst of all, ugly, sickens me (and if you believe being overweight makes us UGLY, please check my links to the right of this post.)

That is being about as dumb as saying people that live in California are stupid because the cost of living is so high. But (DUH) our PAY is much higher too! I remember working as a waitress about 25 years ago...CA's minimum wage was like 5 times higher than the National minimum wage in every other state.

Ok, so I regress. Sorry.

Some of us DO make unhealthy choices, however there are many that don't. To say simply (as I have heard over and over again) "If you excercized, if you didn't eat so much, if you had more self control..."

Ok, ENOUGH! Some of us would LOVE to be rail thin...isn't that what the world expects? But why can't we be happy being ourselves? The world would be a much happier place.

A month or so ago I took a treadmill test. My doctor told me that my heart was EXTREMELY healthy...the muscle was strong and I had NO blockage. So much for being unhealthy because I'm overweight.

Now granted, we should love ourselves as we are, but also try to improve ourselves on a daily basis. But I sincerely believe MOST of the people the media shows us are anorexic. It is TOTALLY unhealthy to be a size 2 when you are 5'9".

We are taught to diet diet diet, but then no one bats an eye when you go OFF that diet and eat Mc Donalds and the like. Ok, so shouldn't we judge ourselves by what we eat rather than what we weigh?

My 13 year old son is pretty chunky...but he gets TONS of excersize by walking uphill a mile from school everyday, skating, and bouncing on our trampoline, additionally he eats very healthy foods! I personally believe he is a GROWING boy...and that he will grow in HEIGHT to match his weight. I could be wrong, but his dad was also very chunky at 13 and grew into his weight...he is now 6'3".

In my mind's eye I am still 135 pounds. Unfortunately there are mirrors and cameras in the world that remind me differently. But until I see those pictures...when I only see myself in my minds eye...I am a totally happy person being the size I am! So I resent that the rest of the world is telling me I am lazy and unhealthy and eat too much blah blah blah.

Did you know that the English language is the ONLY language to place emphasis on the ADJECTIVE rather than the NOUN? It is done by placing the adjective BEFORE the noun...English is the only language that does this. So instead of being a WOMAN first and foremost, what our language stresses is that I am FAT, or beautiful, or smart, or white. No wonder we have so much tension in this country! And even with "political correctness", it is still the adjective that counts!

I seriously wonder if our grammar was different, we wouldn't be so fast to judge others.

Ok, so today's ponderings weren't humorous...give me a break. I'm a mom, a wife, I'm fat, old, and I'm a woman. That in itself is enough to keep me cranky for life.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

My Musings/Thoughts Today

In a way, it is TOTALLY cool to be fat. Because I am fat, and admit it, I can call 'em as I see 'em without feeling ashamed, embarrassed or superior. I can say you are ugly, fat, stupid, WHATEVER, and you have NO recourse, like saying I am conceited or self indulgent...because I know I'm fat, I admit it, so I am privy to call 'em as I see 'em!

There is a new "reality show" on ABC called "Wipeout." If you haven't seen it, it is on ABC on Tuesdays at 8:00 pm PDT. The show has people that go through obstacle courses and the best times stay in the game til there is only one left.

This week, there was an old fat chick that was competing. I took one look at her and said "What the HECK are you doing on this show? You will NEVER make it past the first round!"
And she didn't. And I wondered why they even let her on the show...the show is all about physical competition!

Then I figured, after hearing her talk to the commentator, she was so sure of herself, they felt they HAD to let her on, whether she sank or swam! She was a confident lady (albeit without reason!)

In any event, I can barely walk a mile without being winded...but then I smoke too, and I have COPD.

But I still have to wonder...why did this FAT CHICK ever think she could beat athletes?

Kudos to her for being self confident, but then there is also the FLIP side of being stupid...showing people you are.