Saturday, August 30, 2008

A Rose With Any Other Name...

I was talking to a co-worker the other day and she was telling me how she had to take her kids (two were hers, 3 were her step children) to the grocery store. As she was trying to herd them all into the store, a woman was coming out, and with her nose held high she commented "WELL! At least I knew when to quit!" Lisa was appalled, and I don't blame her. Some people are so inconsiderate and unthoughtful. That woman didn't even know Lisa's circumstances yet she couldn't resist making a snide comment.

Which reminded me of an incident with my youngest son when he was about three. We were standing in line somewhere, and in the line was a VERY large woman. I weighed about 170 at the time, and she outweighed me by at least double. My three year old saw her and tugged on my shirt. I looked down and in a normal voice he said, "Wow, Mama, that woman's FAT!"

Before I could even respond, the woman says "THAT was rude. I don't believe how some people raise their kids to be so hurtful." My son got scared at the vicousness in her voice and I went ballistic. I told her "He is ONLY THREE YEARS OLD. He sees the world as it is and isn't old enough to know about tact. He calls 'em as he sees 'em. You, on the other hand, are just mean and cruel and by the way...a rose called by any other name is still a rose!" I then turned to my son and said "When you're old enough, I will teach you about honesty and how sometimes the truth hurts people, so we need to be careful what we say out loud. But you did NOTHING wrong."

The other people in the line gave me an applause!

My point with all this is accept yourself as you are. And if you don't want people (much less 3 year olds) making comments, CHANGE it! I don't know that woman's circumstances, but all my son did was point out a fact. There were no assumptions or accusations. It is rediculous to think a three year old was being rude and trying to hurt her feelings.

What if he had pointed out someone else that was very fair skinned and he said "Wow, Mama, that person is REALLY white" or a really tanned person and said "Wow, Mama, that person is really dark"? I hardly think they would consider it rude or hurtful. Or better yet, what if he pointed to someone and said "Wow, Mama, that person is REALLY pretty!"

Like I said, he calls 'em as he sees 'em. And, well, a rose by any other name...

Monday, August 25, 2008

Weebles Wobble...

I went to work today in an outfit I don't wear often. Now I know why. As I walked towards the entrance, I saw a reflection of myself in the ceiling to floor windows.

I looked EXACTLY like a "Weebles Wobble!" When I realized what I looked like, I laughed like I haven't laughed so hard in months!

Do you remember those "toys" from the 70's? The figures were round to where "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down." That was the phrase on the commercials for them. They had no arms and no legs, they were just kind of egg shaped, and if you touched them they would wobble, but because of the way they were made, they could never "fall down" or tip over.

Now that you have that image in your mind, think of me. I looked JUST LIKE one of those. My arms were at my sides so they blended in with my fat torso. I did have legs, but I still looked like if you tried to knock me over I would just wobble and not ever fall over.

I told my co-workers and (as most people will cuz they don't understand) most of them said "Oh, no you don't" trying to spare my feelings. I don't need sympathy, or people trying to make me feel better about who I am. I accept who I am, and what I look like! But I was hoping someone would share the humor I saw! Only one gal did, because she sees life as it is. And when she laughed, I knew she was laughing WITH me, not AT me. God bless her!!!!!!!!!!!

I just love the fact that I can laugh at myself. I also love the fact that I am fat enough now that I am not at that weight stage where people wonder if I am pregnant or just overweight.

When I was about 170 pounds, I wasn't "fat all over"...I was just fat in my tummy area. So I had NUMEROUS people ask me when my due date was. That was way more humiliating and unacceptable to me than people just thinking I was fat. No one asks that anymore (when my due date is.) I'm not sure if it's due to my age, or due to the fact that I weigh 20 more pounds, and my face and the rest of my body looks fat now. Either way, I don't care. See me as fat, not as "I wonder if she is overweight or having a baby." Main reason being, my first pregnancy I weighed 130 and only gained 20 pounds! At 7 months pregnant I wore a size 7.

Needless to say I won't be wearing the outfit I wore today again for QUITE a while~!

Friday, July 25, 2008

True Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

WOW, that statement is so true. I remember when being young (in my teens and twenties) that I woud find someone EXTREMELY attractive. If it was a guy, I was usually sexually attracted. If it was a girl, I was envious.

But the most shocking part was getting to know the person. Most of what I thought were "beautiful people" were asses...either self indulgent, self centered, narsassistic, or just plain mean. After I got to know them, I wondered how in the HECK did I EVER see them as a "beautiful" person?

Shows how shallow I was at that young age. But at least I learned (well, with MOST people!)

Now I try not to judge until I get to know the "beauty within" (or lack thereof.)

It's hard though. Do any of you find that? We are all so conditioned to "like" certain things and "dislike" others, it is really hard to find that beauty within, or ignore the absence of it.

And the worst part is KNOWING you are wrong, but not being able to change it. My "first love" I was extremely attracted to, and he was oh so beautiful (to me.) But he treated me like crap. But I would run into him just out of the blue, and still be with him, no matter how bad he treated me.

To this day I still have good dreams about him...and if I saw him today I would prolly do the same, even though I am happily married...that is so sad.

Ok, so I haven't been funny yet...prolly cuz I am relieving stress at this point. Soon I will have lots of funny stuff to say, I promise.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

No FAT CHICKS on board

Today during my commute home from work I looked over at the car next to me and on the dashboard was this HUGE sticker that said "No FAT CHICKS on board."

I was reminded of all the comedians that talk about "getting drunk and taking a fat chick home." What, you have to be DRUNK to consider having a one night stand, much LESS dating, an overweight person?

Then I flashed on all the commercials that show the beer bellied men with beautiful wives. Yeh, I bet that's typical...probably about as honest as the commercial itself.

Then I thought of how the average size in this country for a woman is 14. Two sizes smaller than me, granted, but all you ever see on TV is size 0 - 6 women. They're just not REAL. Those women pretty much starve themselves on a regular basis. If you went to pretty much any city in this country, you would see more women that look like me than looks like all the supermodels and actresses.

My thoughts then went to the movie "The Perfect Storm" and how Bugsy felt he couldn't get a gal so he went after the fat lady. And I was so proud of how they portrayed her. She was self confident, sure of herself, and wanted nothing to do with a guy that she thought was using her. The movie portrayed her as someone that really liked herself and her life. THREE THUMBS UP!

After my daydreaming and musings, I looked at the man that was driving the beat up car with the sticker that said "No FAT CHICKS on board." And I thanked God that I am so blessed to be overweight rather than snaggle toothed, ugly, having a poor complexion, non-hygienic, ignorant ass like the that guy.

And please, someone tell me, what on God's green earth makes people like him think he is special enough to place labels on people, much less make assumptions about people he has never met?

Dang Internet

Sorry I have been away. I rent my house and the wiring here is really old. Because of that, I keep losing my Internet. Should be fixed Saturday though.


Saturday, July 19, 2008

Big May be Beautiful BUT...

I know most people see fat people as ugly, gross, whatever. They do NOT see the beauty of within. Isn't that what we are all supposed to focus on? Remember the term "Don't judge a book by it's cover"?

Well, in my musings and thoughts for today, I realized I am totally happy with my inner self. I am totally happy with my outer self. But I must admit that when I see myself in a mirror, I remember what I used to look like and I like that vision better. SHAME ON ME.

But honestly, most people think fat is ugly. Well, no wonder, with how the American media perpetuates slimness. OMG, they made Kate Moss a super model, and she was only skin and bones, and in my opinion looked extremely sick.

But, the point I am going to make here, is no matter what we think of ourselves, we all DO need to take society and the brainwashing it has received into consideration. We must NOT be totally self centered.

Today I flashed on something I saw a few years ago, and shame on me, but it grossed me out. My hubby and I were at the Boat Drag Races in Red Bluff, CA with our teenage sons. There was a woman there that was about 5'4" and had to have weighed 350 pounds easy. Ok, no biggie, there are a lot of us that are really overweight. My issue was the way she dressed.

She had short shorts on and a bikini top which barely covered her nipples. There were a gazillion rolls anywhere you looked. She had stretch marks EVERYWHERE. Her boobs were barely bigger than her back boobs. The short shorts were way too tight, and her legs showed extreme cellulite which looked like popcorn. I should have gotten a picture. She might as well been naked for all she covered up!

Ok, kudos to her for being self confident and loving herself enough to wear anything, but here is my objection...

I weigh about half that and I am taller than her. I would NEVER consider wearing a bikini top EVER, much less her entire outfit, ESPECIALLY in a crowd. I do have pride. I wear shorts, but not the kind that go up my butt crack and show my crotch. I have respect for other people. I know they don't want to see a spectacle. Love yourself, love your body, but don't subject the rest of us to it.

Oh, and by the way, I felt the same way about all the skinny girls wearing really short skirts and barely covering their ta-tas. They were mostly young, and wanted the attention, but that is as bad as the fat woman wearing what she did.

Why do young women (and some older women that are scared of being old) feel the need to have men ogle them? Why do women feel that they need a MAN to accept them for them to accept themselves? I just don't understand that...

My point is this...


Friday, July 18, 2008

My Musings/Thoughts for Today

The fact that the media and the world at large perpetuates that being fat is dangerous, unhealthy and worst of all, ugly, sickens me (and if you believe being overweight makes us UGLY, please check my links to the right of this post.)

That is being about as dumb as saying people that live in California are stupid because the cost of living is so high. But (DUH) our PAY is much higher too! I remember working as a waitress about 25 years ago...CA's minimum wage was like 5 times higher than the National minimum wage in every other state.

Ok, so I regress. Sorry.

Some of us DO make unhealthy choices, however there are many that don't. To say simply (as I have heard over and over again) "If you excercized, if you didn't eat so much, if you had more self control..."

Ok, ENOUGH! Some of us would LOVE to be rail thin...isn't that what the world expects? But why can't we be happy being ourselves? The world would be a much happier place.

A month or so ago I took a treadmill test. My doctor told me that my heart was EXTREMELY healthy...the muscle was strong and I had NO blockage. So much for being unhealthy because I'm overweight.

Now granted, we should love ourselves as we are, but also try to improve ourselves on a daily basis. But I sincerely believe MOST of the people the media shows us are anorexic. It is TOTALLY unhealthy to be a size 2 when you are 5'9".

We are taught to diet diet diet, but then no one bats an eye when you go OFF that diet and eat Mc Donalds and the like. Ok, so shouldn't we judge ourselves by what we eat rather than what we weigh?

My 13 year old son is pretty chunky...but he gets TONS of excersize by walking uphill a mile from school everyday, skating, and bouncing on our trampoline, additionally he eats very healthy foods! I personally believe he is a GROWING boy...and that he will grow in HEIGHT to match his weight. I could be wrong, but his dad was also very chunky at 13 and grew into his weight...he is now 6'3".

In my mind's eye I am still 135 pounds. Unfortunately there are mirrors and cameras in the world that remind me differently. But until I see those pictures...when I only see myself in my minds eye...I am a totally happy person being the size I am! So I resent that the rest of the world is telling me I am lazy and unhealthy and eat too much blah blah blah.

Did you know that the English language is the ONLY language to place emphasis on the ADJECTIVE rather than the NOUN? It is done by placing the adjective BEFORE the noun...English is the only language that does this. So instead of being a WOMAN first and foremost, what our language stresses is that I am FAT, or beautiful, or smart, or white. No wonder we have so much tension in this country! And even with "political correctness", it is still the adjective that counts!

I seriously wonder if our grammar was different, we wouldn't be so fast to judge others.

Ok, so today's ponderings weren't humorous...give me a break. I'm a mom, a wife, I'm fat, old, and I'm a woman. That in itself is enough to keep me cranky for life.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

My Musings/Thoughts Today

In a way, it is TOTALLY cool to be fat. Because I am fat, and admit it, I can call 'em as I see 'em without feeling ashamed, embarrassed or superior. I can say you are ugly, fat, stupid, WHATEVER, and you have NO recourse, like saying I am conceited or self indulgent...because I know I'm fat, I admit it, so I am privy to call 'em as I see 'em!

There is a new "reality show" on ABC called "Wipeout." If you haven't seen it, it is on ABC on Tuesdays at 8:00 pm PDT. The show has people that go through obstacle courses and the best times stay in the game til there is only one left.

This week, there was an old fat chick that was competing. I took one look at her and said "What the HECK are you doing on this show? You will NEVER make it past the first round!"
And she didn't. And I wondered why they even let her on the show...the show is all about physical competition!

Then I figured, after hearing her talk to the commentator, she was so sure of herself, they felt they HAD to let her on, whether she sank or swam! She was a confident lady (albeit without reason!)

In any event, I can barely walk a mile without being winded...but then I smoke too, and I have COPD.

But I still have to wonder...why did this FAT CHICK ever think she could beat athletes?

Kudos to her for being self confident, but then there is also the FLIP side of being stupid...showing people you are.